every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
