Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
