This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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