New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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