I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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