dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I want is dick and wine.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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