If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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