it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
