There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
