If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
