we have officially lost it.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
