How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize