Where did you get a picture of my penis
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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