Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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