hotel room ftw
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
