I swear she didn't look like that last week.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
