he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
