Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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