Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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