So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
