i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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