Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
