Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize