Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
