Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
