my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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