It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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