If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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