one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
