BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
