I want to stick my p in your. b.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
