I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
