wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
