she woke up with a sticky ear
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
