I will die if light touches me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
