Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
