nut hugger
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
