she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
