Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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