Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
