he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
