You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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