I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
