No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have already put on my inside pants.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
