the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
