I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
