Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
