Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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