I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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