My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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