Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
