I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
