So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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