it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize