I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
