his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
