I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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