Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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