Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize