see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
